Prayers need to be specific

I got the results today... I did get good the news that I prayed for, but it was topped with bad news.

THE GOOD NEWS: The cancer has not spread to my bones or blood. Thank God. I am relieved about that. this is the best news in terms of progression of the disease.

THE BAD NEWS:  My thyroglobulin level was off the charts. This means I still have too much cancer in my neck and that the cancer is extremely aggressive and resistant to the radiation. Now I start prep'ing for radiation all over again... My schedule is now as follows:

Feb 21st start low iodine diet for 10 days,
March 1st and 2nd two more doses of Thyrogen
March 3rd  Arrive at the Hospital at noon for a small dose of radiation (like super small, just enough for an uptake to help the body scan to be read) 4mci is the dose for this appt (when I was in for radiation it was 200mci) Then I have limited contact with the kids for 2-3 days only.
March 5th Whole body scan to determine how much cancer has been killed since the last scan.

Then I get a small break until:
March 28th start low iodine diet again for 10 days.
April 7th and 8th Thyrogen shots AGAIN (as long as our benefits will cover it it twice in a calendar year) The alternative is I stop taking my meds for 4 weeks to force my body to go hypo. Not nice.
April 9th back into the hospital for 3-4 days for 2nd treatment of radiation.

I just don't know how to react. I am devastated. I was so sure I was going to get a clean scan and be able to start getting back to our old lives. I am going to going lay down, My head is splitting and the computer has made it worse.