I spent the better part of the last 2 days hiding from my family, friends anything social. So basically the world in general. I stayed in bed and it forced my hubby to have to jump in and take over everything that I normally do. I feel badly about that now, but I needed to allow myself a bit of time to let the news absorb. I am still not dealing well with it and I am now taking more ativan than I have ever needed in the past. I just feel my ability to be positive and cope well is slipping away. I know it will come back, I just don't know how to get it back...
Why Me? Why is my family having to deal with this, and why do I always get bad news. I don't feel I deserve this nor does my family. How did I get it and what did I do that could have been a cause/trigger? Why can't it just be over already one way or another. I am tired of the fight.
But at least I am out of bed now, I guess that's a good thing.
4 weeks ago